update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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