Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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