I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
