So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
