he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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