Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize