just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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