David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
