i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
