Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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