Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
