yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just google imaged poop.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
