We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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