So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
