Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
