yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
