were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
