so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
