Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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