My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
