totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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