i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
