Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize