There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
