You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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