yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
