They should really pass out barf bags in church
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
