i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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