hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize