dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
