So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
