I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
