someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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