She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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