she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
