I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
