i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You were trust falling into bushes
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
