Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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