I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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