and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
