All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize