4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
