Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize