I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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