Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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