That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize