Barsexuality is the new black.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
