So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you will always have a special place in my vag
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize