Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
