Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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