the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
