My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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