just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I am midnight drunk by noon
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
