Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
