I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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