OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
