Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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