It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
