in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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