You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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