HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
