so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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