I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
