OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
