Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
