U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
