ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
